In Defense Of The Slackeoisie

It appears that Scott “Get off my lawn” Greenfield is taking pot shots at my generation, again. I will be fair to Scott, I am impressed he had time to write this, I can only assume most of his time is spent going to the early bird special for dinner, listening to his Victrola, and telling the neighborhood kids they can’t have their Frisbee back. That and taking shots at the Sovereign Nation of Texas, but we usually deserve it.

It’s not fair to single Scott out though, but he’s the only blawgger I regularly read who occasionally writes about Generation Y in the workplace. He’s not the only one to complain about lawyers my age though, other (obviously older) blawggers have tackled the subject, and I’ve even seen the topic in my ABA newsletter.

There’s two basic complaints about Generation Y lawyers. The first is that they want everything handed to them. They want the six-figure salary, a corner office, and a BMW right out of law school. And they don’t want to do any of the hard work that got the current owner of the corner office his position. Oh yeah, and they don’t want to wear a suit every day either. Then, they don’t want to become partner. They just want to stick around long enough to pay off law school, and then go do something they like. The nerve!

Second complaint, they have tattoos

These are legitimate complaints, well, at least the first one. If you’re wearing a suit and your tats are covered, I don’t see what the big deal is. For the record, no tats on me. I hate needles.

At the risk of accusing the older blawggers of being square and not hip, I don’t think they understand why young lawyers think this way. There’s two reasons, according to me.

First up, we’re product of feel-good, Boomer parents. We’ve been raised by children of the sixties and Sesame Street and Mr. Rogers Neighborhood to believe that our happiness is the most important thing in the whole wide world, and if something doesn’t make you happy, it’s not worth doing. We’ve been told how special and unique each one of us is, and we can do anything we want.

Then, throw in our consumer culture. I have no idea if our society has always placed such a high value on material goods, probably not to the extent it does now. From shows like MTV Cribs and My Sweet 16 and fashion magazines, our media is sending the message that unless you have the best house/car/clothes/gadgets/party, you’re worthless.

It reminds me of the line from Fight Club:

Man, I see in fight club the strongest and smartest men who’ve ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don’t need. We’re the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War’s a spiritual war… our Great Depression is our lives. We’ve all been raised on television to believe that one day we’d all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won’t. And we’re slowly learning that fact. And we’re very, very pissed off.

You’ve got a generation raised to believe that A) their happiness is all that matters; and B) that a person’s worth is measured in material goods. Is it any wonder that everyone wants a BMW right out of law school?

Real life, however, does not care if what you’re supposed to do makes you happy. Real life doesn’t care if your billable hours are making you depressed. And therein lies the first problem, we’ve been told if it doesn’t make us happy, its not worth doing. But if not having the latest iPhone (which I really want) means you’re not the cool kid on the block, then what do you do?

The simple answer is, you suck it up and play the game.  The Boomers, or older, are still running the show.  They may be ranting like a Scooby Doo villain about those meddlesome kids, but they’re also the ones in power.

So why isn’t Generation Y convinced that partnership is next to godliness, why isn’t there any loyalty to the firms that gave these young attorneys a job? Because we’ve watched what has happened to our parents generation. Jobs have been cut, downsized, rightsized, outsourced, and every other euphemism for being fired. Maybe this is just me because I grew up in the Rust Belt, but I’ve seen it way too often. People getting fired who did everything they were supposed to do. Go to college, get a useful degree, be a loyal company man or woman; and then get told we’re paying you too much, we can hire 3 people right out of college for what we pay you. Assuming they’re not shipping your job to India.

We’ve learned that the boss isn’t going to show any loyalty. You can do everything you’re supposed to do and wind out with nothing in an instant. Why look out for the company, when the company isn’t going to look out for you. The days of working for one employer the rest of your life are over, except maybe if you get in with the government. My generation has seen how loyal employers are, the plan now is simply take what you can, and use it to look after yourself, because no one else is going to.

My take on it all is this. Very few people are truly happy at their jobs. I’m actually a little suspicious of any lawyer who says they love what they do. But at some point, you make a decision. You either find take a job that keeps you financially comfortable and hope your soul doesn’t rot away. Or, take the chance and do something you really want to do. My generation needs to realize that the Boomers are still running the show, and ultimately they’re the ones setting the rules, for now. Yeah, not getting the BMW right away might suck (I’d rather have a Cadillac myself). Wearing a suit isn’t always fun. But those are the rules as they stand right now.

But Boomers, be nice to us. We’ll be picking out your nursing homes.

Hide and Seek

My practice takes me to three different counties on a fairly regular basis, giving me six different offices to deal with.  Three County Attorneys and three District Attorneys.  And each one has a different interpretation on just how much information they have to give me.  One of the offices will basically let me come in, grab the file I need from the filing cabinet and make copies of whatever I need.  On the other hand, I’ll ask another office if I can see a file, not even make copies - just read it for myself, and instead they’ll just give me an executive summary.  Great, I’m getting a biased summary of an already biased police report.  Sadly, most of the offices are more like the latter.

This refusal to share frustrates me to no end for a couple reasons.  First, I came to Texas from a state with a much more liberal interpretation of Brady, where the DA’s were basically forced to hand over everything at the start of a case.  Oh no, not Texas.  It was a bit of a shock for me when I got down here.

Second, to me it seems like an incredibly inefficient way to operate.  One office will let me look at the file, but instead of making copies, I’m only allowed to take notes.  So rather than having a complete picture of the case that I can read at my convienence, I have to spend my time trying to decide what’s important enough to write down, and then having to read my own writing a week later when I look at the file.  And if I decide I might want more information, I have to go back to the DA’s office (at a time that’s convenient for them) and make more notes.  Wouldn’t it be a better use of everyone’s time to just let me make a copy of what I need?

So why do the prosecutors make getting information as tough as they can?  I really can’t think of any better reason for them besides, under the law, they can.  Which is a pretty crappy reason.

Sign Language

A post on Mark Bennett’s blog and a story in an ABA email caught my eye.  A criminal defense attorney in Austin was convicted of contempt and given 90 days in jail for making a “gesture, which simulated masturbation.”

A Texas lawyer found guilty of contempt for making a lewd courtroom gesture has been released on a personal recognizance bond while he appeals a 90-day jail sentence.

Lawyer Adam Reposa of Austin told reporters after he was sentenced yesterday that the punishment was “fair,” Texas Lawyer reports.

Visiting Judge Paul Davis said the gesture, which simulated masturbation, tarnished the dignity of the judicial process, the Austin American-Statesman reports.

And what happened that caused Mr. Reposa to make such a foul gesture?

The incident occurred after the prosecutor complained that Reposa was whispering in his client’s ear during the prosecutor’s explanation of a plea offer on a drunken driving charge. Reposa said he wasn’t happy with the offer.

I wasn’t there, I don’t know Mr. Reposa, but it seems like the prosecutor getting upset because of the whispering in the client’s ear during the plea offer seems like a pretty trivial thing to get upset about.  I’ve certainly whispered in a client’s ear while the prosecutor is talking, just like every other defense attorney out there.  Maybe making the jerk off gesture isn’t the best way to handle the situation.

But 90 days in county?  Is that really needed.  I’m sure every prosecutor out there salivates at the thought of being able to lock up a defense attorney, but is locking this guy up and probably destroying his practice a fair punishment for a rude gesture?  Hardly.

Winner Winner, Chicken Dinner

Since my beloved Detroit Tigers have started the season by going 0 - 7, it’s up to me to pick up the slack and get some wins.  I got my first win at a jury trial.  Only it was as a prosecutor. And it was against a Pro Se Defendant.

Occasionally, I get asked to be a special prosecutor on Class C cases. This one was a trucker who got clocked going way to fast, and decided that even after a very reasonable offer he wanted to take it to trial and represent himself.

I’m not sure why he didn’t hire an attorney if he wanted to fight the ticket. He’s a trucker, he’s got a CDL, and having a ticket on your CDL, as I’ve been lead to understand, is not a good thing for your insurance or your employment. But whatever reason, he should have had one. The trial didn’t go well for him at all.

It could be a lesson for all the non-lawyers who think that just because they watch Law & Order, they can be an attorney. Its not that the defendant here wasn’t a smart guy. I spoke with him in pre-trial and before the trial started, and he seemed like he’s at least average intelligence. But without legal training, he didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know how to conduct an effective cross, he didn’t know how to introduce evidence. Its not rocket science, but without a legal education and some on-the-job training, most people wouldn’t know how to do it.

I’m happy with the win, its kind of fun to be the prosecutor, for a change of pace. Even though it was my first win, I decided to hold off on any celebration. I’m saving that for my first ‘not guilty.’

The Perfect Client

Occasionally, I end up getting appointed as a guardian or attorney ad litem on CPS cases.  Family law is not my idea of a good time, but I take the cases without complaint for a couple of reasons.  First off, it’s some extra money.  Always nice.  I have a fiancee with expensive tastes.  Secondly, there are plenty of more experienced attorneys that the judge could appoint.  So to me, I really appreciate that the judge is appointing me even though I’m a newbie.  I feel like the judge thinks I can handle it.  Or, maybe none of the older attorneys want to bother with it and I’m the only one who will accept the appointments without complaint.  But I like to think its the former.

I was recently appointed to be an attorney ad litem for a 2 month old baby.  When I went to talk with his mother, I had to hold the baby, even though I reminded the mother that she had seen me drop my cell phone four times in five minutes.  As I sat there, ackwardly holding the baby, I realized that he might just be the perfect client.  Consider:

• He’ll have to whatever I saw.
• He doesn’t think he knows more about the law than I do.
• Won’t lie to me.
• Will show up for court when he’s supposed to.
• Don’t have to go to jail to see him.

Really, I don’t see a downside.  Other than the baby possibly throwing up on me while I’m holding him.

Some of the items of my list lead me to my next question.  Is there any other profession out there, that members of the general public think they can do on their own?  If my car needs anything other than an oil change or to rotate the tires, I take it to my mechanic and let him handle it.  When I’m sick, I go to my doctor.  He’s the one who went to medical school for god knows how many years, not me.  Heck, I don’t even tell the kid working the fry machine how to do his job.  Afterall, the fry manager is a graduate of Hamburger University.  I didn’t attend.

So why is it that any person off the street who caught the last 20 minutes of The Firm on cable, thinks they know how to be an attorney?  To be fair, I have had a couple clients who have been through the system so many times they probably do know more than me.  But I’ve also had people who, on the first visit with them, tell me that I have to do X, Y, and Z because they know its the law.  Nine times out of ten, they have no idea what they’re talking about.

I wouldn’t tell my doctor how to do a heart transplant on me.  So why does someone else think they can tell me how to write a suppression motion?  I don’t get it.